The sound of silence
Featured in the Listening Skills training manual
By Jessica Madge
Category: Communication Skills
Credit price: 4 download credits (Single user)
The ability to be silent is an advanced listening skill. Many inexperienced listeners cannot tolerate even very short silences. They feel uneasy with silence, and therefore do not allow others time to think and reflect. However, when a talker is nervous or upset, silence on the part of the listener can be very helpful as it allows the talker to think and collect their thoughts. Silence can also be a powerful tool when negotiating – it can have a direct impact on the quality of the deal that we strike. Many people lose their advantage by making a proposal and not maintaining a silence while the other party thinks about it – instead they jump in with a second, less advantageous offer. The ability to sit in silence can also be helpful when confronting a member of staff who is performing poorly or who is accused of a misdemeanour. A manager skilled enough to sit in confident silence will draw out information that otherwise would not have come to light.
You begin this training activity by asking participants to sit in pairs, in total silence, for a few minutes. They then fill in a short questionnaire about the experience. This leads into a discussion about the difficulties of coping with silence. Because silence makes many people tense, there is then a short relaxation routine. This is followed by an exercise in pairs, involving asking tricky questions and dealing with the ensuing silence. Finally, there is a role-play exercise in which a ‘manager’ tries to establish the reason for a staff member’s changed behaviour at work.
Who is it for: This training activity is intended for use by trainers to introduce the concept that silence plays an important part in effective listening and to provide some opportunities for practice.
| Resource Type: | Activity |
| Min Group Size: | 4 |
| Max Group Size: | 20 |
| Typical Duration: | 02:15:00 |
| No of Pages: | 21 |
Resources: View standard resources for Fenman training activities
Additional resources: Clipboards for participants (optional).
Purpose: This training activity explains that silence has its place in many contexts. It can be used supportively in circumstances such as counselling, bereavement and appraisal. In negotiation it has a tactical use. In more confrontational situations, such as investigation of absence, it can be used as a powerful tool to push people into ‘spilling the beans’.
Download the training activity, The sound of silence as featured in the Fenman training manual; Listening Skills