The music in the message
Featured in the Listening Skills training manual
By Jessica Madge
Category: Communication Skills
Credit price: 4 download credits (Single user)
In many business situations people feel emotional – but they usually keep those emotions in check. Imagine a scene where a telephone customer is annoyed. Maybe it is just that they have been passed around a number of your colleagues before getting through to you. Only a small minority of people ‘let rip’ with their anger in this situation. Only a small minority of people say ‘I am angry’. Most people keep their feelings under control and get on with the business in hand. And when we deal with people who are upset, we often take the easy route of dealing with the facts instead of dealing with the controlled, but still fairly obvious feelings. This is like a doctor sewing up a wound without cleaning it out first. If we deal with the facts and ignore the feelings, the feelings don’t go away: they fester, and result in the loss of a customer or the souring of a business or work relationship. It has never been more important to retain customers, to maintain goodwill with business partners, and to avoid de-motivation of staff. At all levels in organisations, people need to handle emotions rather than seek to avoid them.
The training activity begins with a short questionnaire, designed to highlight the fact that emotions are normally kept in check at work and in public. Participants are helped to recognise that negative feelings that are not expresses continue to fester. The fears people have about encouraging people to express their feelings are acknowledged. Participants then go on to look at the subtle non-verbal signals which ‘leak’ from adults who are angry, scared or sad. There is an opportunity to increase awareness of these signals. Finally, participants identify and demonstrate some of the skills they already have to enable them to invite emotions out into the open and deal with them confidently.
Who is it for: This training activity is intended for use by trainers to help participants to recognise and deal confidently with strong emotions in others.
- Themes:
- Advanced listening skills,
- Dealing with complaints and aggression,
- Management and supervision,
- Interviewing,
- Appraisals,
- Absence,
- Performance management,
- Client handling,
- Selling,
- Negotiating,
- Influencing,
- Assertiveness,
- Emotional Intelligence,
- Counselling,
- Mediation,
- Meetings,
- On the telephone,
| Resource Type: | Activity |
| Min Group Size: | 4 |
| Max Group Size: | 20 |
| Typical Duration: | 03:40:00 |
| No of Pages: | 32 |
Resources: View standard resources for Fenman training activities
Additional resources: Clipboards for participants (optional).
Purpose: This advanced training activity would fit comfortably alongside work on reflecting feelings (empathising) – see ‘Those uncertain feelings’. The most obvious areas of application are in customer service, negotiation, appraisal, discipline, selling and meetings. It could also form part of a programme on Emotional Intelligence. This is a training activity that builds on, and acknowledges, existing communication skills. It is therefore most useful for people who have already acquired a range of skills, rather than for complete beginners.
Download the training activity, The music in the message as featured in the Fenman training manual; Listening Skills